Really?

i dont know what happen

i saw my friend status put something about both of u

i thought i am strong and i can accept anything

but

I AM WRONG

i press the few keys and go in to the profile

i saw d profile picture change already

and you two look really sweet and happy

and i direct regret what i had done

because i really cant accept

even that was happened 3 months++ ago

NOW

every night i felt moody

but luckily

i still felt the concern from my friends

so..thanks my lovely friends

but really

i want to say

my life is no you anymore

but i am still have my friend..

REALLY

i am so appreciate of it...

犯错~

最近爱上了这首歌
是位中国的歌手唱的。。（应该啦~不是很确定。。><）
这首歌唱出了我心里的话
我不懂
我不懂
真的不懂
但过去了
你开始了新的一段
是我
还不愿意放开
还在原地踏步
不敢踏出一步
还在妄想你会回到我的身边
能怎样
有时真的好辛苦
别人不知道
还以为我真的放开了
但
并不是那么的容易


By 斯琴高丽

沉默不是代表我的错
分手不是唯一的结果
我只是还没有想好该怎么对你说
沉默不是代表我的错
伤心不是唯一的结果
只想再听你说一次你依然爱着我
既然你并没有犯错
为什么还要躲着我
我每天都这么的难过
到底我做错了
既然你并没有犯错
为什么还要不理我
你什么都不肯对我说
请你不要再沉默。。。

终于~

YESTERDAY

i had an idea which is delete all things about u

but i know i cant

so i decide to step forward -- step by step

i deleted "her" profile from my FB profile

that mean i cant even know how r u recently

because i really need to force myself to look forward

u had told me before

if we "break"

will not be a friend anymore

i think u are right

now i felt that if one day i face to you at somewhere

i wont talk to u too

i will choose to turn over

because i really dun know what topic still can talk with u

and the most important thing is

the person who stay in your heart nor longer is me

same

who stand beside you also not me

i know i cant accept

so i can only choose to disappear in front of you

TODAY

i step a bit forward again

i already deleted the "sweet" pic from FB

my friends and me wont saw it anymore

and i no need to care the comment said about...

:"you 2 so sweet.." some kind of those words...

NOW

i think i can
i will try to forget all about the pain
but sweet memories i will keep it
because
i know YOU teach me many things
i know YOU had love dearly to me in your life time
i know YOU bring many happiness to me
i know YOU really concert everything of me

but just maybe im not your Ms. Right
so hope you happy always ^^
with "her"^^

还是一样

过了两个月了吧

在寂寞的夜里会想着你

上网第一时间会想看看你有没有在线

吃方便面时会想起和你争食物的画面

煮正餐时会想起你是个连荷包蛋都不会的小少爷

吃早餐时会想到柜子里还留着你爱吃的“早餐谷粮”

在寒冷的夜里会想起你温馨的盖被方式

在无所事事的时候会想起你会试出你的神功来搔我得痒

在特别的节日时会想起我给你惊喜后的表情

在我不开心时会想起你给我的安慰

在我开心时会想起你看着我微笑的表情 好像我开心你就开心

在我想你的时候会想起平时的我是多么依赖你

在我想要和你在一起时会想起我当初已作了决定

所以。。。没得想了~

但还是一样，好想你。。。

remember??

today is your Chinese birthday

last 2 years i celebrated through the phone by MMS

because the date was near my Final Exam

so impossible back hometown celebrated with you

have she celebrate with you today??

hope she have

hope you remember what i had did for you

just want you Remember~

few days later

your birthday is coming

have she prepare??

hope she have

just want you happy everyday

because i cant do anything for you already

and the person will replace by her start from now~

突然好想和你庆祝><

我以为！！

曾经

我以为我们可以在一起到永远

我以为我们的感情永不变

我以为我们从不说“分手”

我以为我们是朋友眼中模范的一对

我以为我在你眼里是最棒的

我以为每次醒来就会看到你

我以为有什么事你都会在我身边

我以为每次的挽回会有永远



我以为我是个坚强的女孩

我以为我可以大方的祝福你们

我以为我的眼泪不会再流了

我以为

我以为

我以为

没以为了

傻婆

醒吧

看清楚了吗

是你说放弃的

别再以为了！！！

FINALLY!!

i saw u changes the status

"is in relationship"

i knew that will happened between u and her

u had told me before

u said u and "she" was impossible

but now, was became true

that's mean my six-sense was correct last time

what i wan to say??

congrats to u ??

or

curse u??

anyway, hope that you really think that she is the 1 u want

and i wont curse u

because

i just want u happy ever after

and

CONGRATS!!!

even my heart is bleeding now><
congrats><

Again!

work at QB

drive to Penang by UNSER

scare scare><

just lost between layhoon's house and DUN KNOW WHERE><

but luckily, i still know phone her come and SAVE ME

after that we go Station 1 chit chat lo^^

but hor...

i heard d singer sang the song was very sad, and it let me think of U

but i already stop my tear, i dun wan "u" out

AM I STRONG??

but i am still sad of it..

how can??

that was our decision

i think i will take a long long period to become more strong

but while i worked, i saw many friends

and they all fall in love with their sweet heart

just only me..

now already NOTHING!!

and it happened again and again...cant stop><

flash back...

i woke up this morning

suddenly saw my past birthday present in my bedroom

long time dint look again my present gave by my friends who had attend my party

i saw a "cute" friend/course mate wrote in a b'day card
:" u old d, but u cannot angry abt what i say , because it will let u look more "old"..."
but luckily the wish was "stay pretty" , hehe :)

and i realised that all my friends know me very well, cos the ribbon all are tie with purple colour, even the present box,b'day card...(actually i keep all the things, like ribbon, box and ...)

and it let me think of the day of my party...

everyone wish me, everyone enjoy it, everyone "play" me...

and also YOU are the one who involve in..

then start again the imagine..

Flash Back...

something is good but mostly is bad...

but i just can keep You as "flash back"..

so...

i am Flash Back+ing again^^

life of year 2 ~

my year 2 life was very busy tired and also not confident at all...

the assignment = hard

the exam = very hard

the mental problem = serious

the stress = very serious

what should i do, i just want graduate with merit result

but why i saw the exam Q. felt like i cant graduate

very scare now

hope can pass all

hope dont let me do 2nd time of the same paper

hope hope hope

also prove that study not as easy as you think

exam stress~

i dont know why i will be like that

STRESS!!

actually my problem not only happend between exam period

before presentation or other things i will also be like that

before exam, because of STRESS i cant concentrated on my notes

during exam, because of STRESS i lose my confident on the paper

after exam, because of STRESS i not dare to do the revision on next subject

so, is it my physical mental problem??

i just want be a normal student

do well in the exam

but why??

it will appeared many such thing in my mind??

STRESS PLEASE GO AWAY FROM ME!!!

review~

just go my friendster profile

saw my last post at there (friendster's blog)...

<难过的一天…>

新年刚开始不到四天的我,身材已经开始胖了…在我的建议下,我和我的dear dear决定到水坝跑步!今天一大早,我就把我的dear dear给叫醒,准备开始我的减肥计划!一路上我们都有说有笑,到了水坝,我把我和dear dear的钱包和电话收在一个蛮安全的地方,就下车了….

过了大约四十五分钟,我们又有说有笑的走回车上..当我要开门的时后,我觉得很奇怪为什么副座的门怎么没琐上,但上车后,我也没发现有什么不妥!运动后 的我最想要做的就是喝水,喝完后就把水递给我dear dear,在这个时候我dear dear就想把钱包和电话拿出来…过一会儿,他一脸又紧张又疑惑的问我是不是已经把东西给拿出来了?但我明明没动到啊?!?!?

听到他这样问,不用想也知道是发生了什么大事了…我直接把所有地方给搜了两三遍,但就是找不到了:(…到最后我终于放弃了,而我心里那种复杂的心情,直接 泪如雨下,无法控制!在旁还搞不清楚状况的dear dear给我这种反应给吓到了,他连忙在旁安慰我这个反应过大的女朋友…

冷静后的我就检查看看到底我和dear dear损失到多严重….哇靠,不算还ok,一算就大件事了…大约有RM3000啊…oh my god,无法接受这个事实,再度失控…过了数十几分钟,又被我的dear dear平抚了我的心情…过后就回家了!在回他家的路上,平时很叽喳的我,变到很沉默…{连我本身都无法相信}

发生这样的事,连吃早餐的胃口都没了…中午十二点,直到我做工时,就以吃来解决心里的不愉快…大约一点多时,我dear dear出现在我做工的地方,把一模一样的电话交给了我!他说:’那,这个电话给你…’!我还没反应过来,新电话就被他塞在我的手里!过后他就回家了…

到了傍晚六点多,我dear dear又来载我放工了!放工后我就到他家吃饭!过后再回家…

回到家后,我妈就问我很多问题,但我都把东西被偷的事给删了,只说我电话没电了之类的话来掩饰!因为只要我妈知道此事,我看我的耳朵就要受罪了…

总之,2008年2月10日可说是我最难忘的一天啊……………….

当然也希望这件事能瞒多久就瞒多久:(…

haiz~

but i still using that~

i cant ~

almost 1 month already

i though i can really put down the thing between u n me

but today i just realize that

i may to celebrate the " anniversary" every month

when i at school, i feel good, because of my friends

but sometime when i back hostel/home, i will start to think about the things that we had done together

i know someone was waiting

i know someone will get hurt

but as i know is i can't easily to forget what had pass in my life

may be that is a challenge for me, to help me grown

and yet i haven't start to accept this challenge

thats why, it always make me feel complicated, down and sad><

i can't i can't i can't !!!

just right now!

我不是。。。

我不是。。。

不是个好女孩
也不是个坏女孩
*
脾气不是很好
但也不是很坏
*
性格有时很顺他人
有时也会很固执
*
不是你想象中的那样好
也不是你想象中的那样坏
*
不是你口中，心中的好女孩
也不是你口中。心中的坏女孩
*
不是那么的笨
但也不是很聪明
*
不善于表达内心
但又很想表达
*
很想勇于尝试
但害怕失败
*
想勇敢踏出那一步
却不舍得

我不是个懦弱的女孩
只是不够坚强

而我

现在就只想做个普通的，平凡的，简单的女孩~

梦~

在我的梦里，又有你的出现，

是我日有所思，夜有所梦吗？

以前的我，不管梦到好梦还是恶梦，

隔天醒来，就会打通电话给你。

如果是恶梦，你也会说，--

“不要乱乱想啦，如果真的发生了，有我在；
以后睡觉前就不要想太多，如果不能睡就打给我咯，我的电话为你开着的。。”

现在勒？只能一个人在那边酸着鼻，流着泪。。

这才发现，醒后的得我

很寂寞，很孤单。。。。。。